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Not without sadness

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  I get the job, and when I was a little repetition of the plan. But his father insisted that I review at his alma mater on the grounds that his alma mater to many of us get the job eugenic preference, such as do not pay tuition fees, living subsidy and so on. I also understand the difficulties at home. But I have been from middle school to high school to stay here. Six years of living here makes me a little bored, and I'm embarrassed to face those familiar with low-grade teachers and friends, so I must be far from home in the repetition of three.
  We do this argument, the father yelled: \can not bear it, Xiaoyu is my childhood friend from childhood, is the Murakami Zhang Shen's daughter,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], did not complete a high school in the vicinity of the three went to school haircut. She is a very very pretty girl, why I can not with her ah. Not that she is Haishi born? Hai Shi was born to harm it? Is not she do the haircut, the barber on the dubious it?
  not let me go to three, I would not go over, I went to burn my high school textbooks. That night I slept in bed, I heard my father say that he no longer ignore me, for when did my son. What persuaded the mother seems to have some crying.
  I can not sleep, I left a letter addressed to the mother's letter, he quietly slipped out of the room is gone, I'll never go home.
  before I go to see the jade, not for anything else, not me and her father are together, I bent to see her.
  deep night where I was to Xiaoyu. She was a good surprise, he kept asking how I ran away from home so late, she was doing here. I told her everything, I said I was saying goodbye to her.
  do not want to hurt her than I listened to, advised me must not run away from home, a good review it,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], ah do not regret in the future. I was just silence.
  can not let her know I was a change of heart, and then sighed and said: \will know the hardship of your father. \Xiaoyu is my best girl, I'll never forget her, I swear I never in my heart for not fail her.
  next day, Xiaoyu send me away, I saw her on the platform waving. Do not look back in the car had left her a sight, and her tears are incredibly fond memories clear.
  In fact, I made a phone call out to the family no, there is no contact, and Xiaoyu. I very much want to jade, but life too bitter, I do not want her to make me sad. After six years of struggle I, stream a lot of sweat and tears, finally had some gains.
  I had to call home.
  mother over the phone to hear that I was thrilled to cry. He kept asking me where the years have not gone well. I actually burst into tears, unable to speak.
  and sister over the phone that she is getting married, to be sure to come back, when his younger brother. Such a sister to your brother, not you, sister in the wedding will not be happy. Sister crying too.
  just did not hear the voice of his father, and I think he was not at home now.
  I decided to go home the day before the wedding in the sister.
  back to my hometown after an absence of many years, into my familiar home. See their parents have gray hair, more beautiful sister mature, and even then has grown into a small cousin Ruhuasiyu Seventeen-year-old girl, I am so strange, so many years is what makes me so harden , leaving the infinite care to relatives, but outside their own greeting message that is not brought back.
  night we said many, then moved out of a lot of tears. No contradictions, only happiness. I slept a sleep ah how sweet.
  wake up red-letter day when Sister, Sister dress more beautiful. I am happy sister, though sister to marry later than their peers some of Murakami, but I saw how handsome husband capable Yeah. Murakami
  relatives and people gradually come to congratulate, I receive guests, to smoke tea, too busy, but I was happy how.
  little cousin is also pleased to running around tending to, and guests also kept laughing, so lively and so beautiful,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], much like the year Xiaoyu Yeah.
  Xiaoyu, but I did not see the shadow, I did not ask. I know I will see her, it would certainly be surprised how much time.
  then I really see Xiaoyu, and to the people cheering, I when the sister and her husband posed for photos. I would like to illuminate the beautiful fields, so sister and her husband is the happiest field pair.
  but I see through the camera, not far behind sister and her husband have a lonely girl.
  Who is that girl, why alone in the field, why not to come to this happy crowd?
  I suddenly heard someone say: \
  She is not in my memory Xiaoyu, wearing simple, not as gorgeously dressed. Though not messy hair, but let loose with, her face the most part. It was Zhang's face haggard, pale face, my memory a little flush in the face gone? Her eyes are vacant, with no festivity, with no spirit. I remember those beautiful and lively eyes?
  I am pleased to call her,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], she was indifferent, I told her I was sub-Xiao Yeah, she just smirked, laughed again and again out of tears somehow.
  in the end is how is it? She ignored me? She hate me? Do not blame me for so long to call her back did not take the time to see her.
  I want to give her explanation, I would like to say I miss her, but she said something to the house muttering to go.
  stood the rest of my loss. I left six years, how many occurred in my hometown I do not know the change?
  very early that night I lay on the bed, next to church friends and relatives in their room is singing in antiphonal style. We are here to take the daughters get married is a very lively antiphonal singing church songs, and I was in the crowded outside.
  I hear the beautiful voice of small cousin,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], and that is how I know a song Yeah, I left home for the night Xiaoyu, not that I sing the song \
  That night I could not sleep during the day and I heard him in all Xiaoyu.
  That year I left home a few months, Xiaoyu has a big belly in the barber shop. Who do not know who she is pregnant with the child, Xiaoyu never tell anyone. Maybe she did not know it, as she did in the barber shop, and people like that about her. Her parents fought more causes for her, wanted her to do abortion, who knows she is so stupid, insisted the child had down. The child named Ku Er, as early as birth family before he gave Xiaoyu cast a shame.
  people do not like Kuer home, only for his immense love Xiaoyu. Murakami people are mocking their mother. She became a woman marry.
  only the neighboring village of strong, young legs of a lame, hard in pursuit of jade, but Xiaoyu do not agree. Murakami, who her parents and tried to persuade her, Xiaoyu has always silent. Who do not understand what she was eligible to pick and choose in the end. May not be the father of her child waiting for the man to her, she married early and never let her be so much humiliation.
  and Xiaoyu's parents finally could not bear it, they gave two roads Xiaoyu selection, or married to strong, or the child given away.
  how willing Xiaoyu given away Kuer Yes, she nodded and made a strong wife.
  back Ruhuasiyu strong woman married, very treasure Aiwujiwu, particularly on the children loved.
  Xiaoyu's life began to have the sun, with a strong Xiaoyu everyone says is her good fortune.
  She also felt pretty good, and she said to her friends, although she often thought of the father, but she still felt a love her to marry than to marry a man she loved more happiness.
  which know a bolt. That day as usual, strong with Kuer uphill work. Came from nowhere to being a bull rush to the roadside Kuer play scared Kuer crying wah-wah, the strong hands of the hoe desperate throw at the man. Kuer is saved back, strong but was lost cattle squeeze off a cliff young life.
  Xiaoyu, the bolt from the blue to cry for several days in a coma for several times.
  Xiaoyu's parents to forget a diagram, Xiaoyu killed turned out to be strong. Hai Shi Xiaoyu was born, is the cuff life.
  Xiaoyu was back to her family, from her life even worse. No one mentioned again kissed. Everyone to see how strange her eyes, her fear, she felt harsh, and seems to give even the heart hurt.
  Xiaoyu said little, and it was discovered that she was changing, and often alone in a daze, later on hi sorry impermanence, his mouth spoke gibberish, who also did not understand.
  Xiaoyu was so in love with a clean, but people know that she was crazy.
  I do not know when I fall asleep ... ...
  next to the sister-laws, I feast on spilled drink a lot and I drunk.
  back from a sister home, I went to see Xiaoyu, the house was Xiaoyu and Ku Er.
  Xiaoyu, I want to ask who the father is, I want to bring back the memory of Xiaoyu. I wish I could see past that happy, neat Xiaoyu Yeah.
  I am excited to call her, I gently told her, I pity to call her, but she was when I was not there.
  Kuer cried uncle on my side. What a sensible child he ah. He told me not to bother my mother, my mother was ill.
  I Kuer in his arms, I said this hardy kids, uncle came to see her mother, uncle will not hurt her mother.
  Xiaoyu told me the story of me and I listen to it or to tell Xiaoyu told Kuer There, they who can understand it. Xiaoyu
  I look pale face, I want to kiss out of it flush. I held her thin hand, which is how cold hand Yeah, I want to give it warmth.
  Xiaoyu was hard not withdraw his hand, showing the frightened look on his face.
  left tears in my eyes, I listened quietly as if she remembered the name Xiao child, she was hard to think of who I was, or just casually remembered it?
  Xiaoyu, I can not let go on like this, the next day I'll Xiaoyu taken to hospital. The village people do not understand my father did not oppose, but heaved a long sigh of relief.
  I often accompany her in the hospital, and I help her remember everything, and sometimes I take her to the place we have gone through. I even took her to three in the vicinity that has given me a good night's home, where everything just changed, had not the old houses.
  days passed, and sometimes she seems to recognize me, so affectionately calling me. Full of joy when I hug her pregnant, she was suddenly forget everything, and to show the expression of fear.
  Xiaoyu's condition after two months have improved. She remembers some of our past was. She no longer afraid I hug her, just to hide from my eyes, my heart the way some guilt.
  I had to leave her for some time. I lived in that city for six years with my career. Xiaoyu
  I went to say goodbye, I told her I'll be back soon to see her. When I walked affectionately kissed her face. The kiss and the kiss went so far as the last six years of hard times separated.
  I felt something hot on my hand, turned out to be Xiaoyu tears. She held my hand tightly, trying to say but no say. I knew she was reluctant for me. This is much like the scene six years ago we were!
  I cry, but I am so happy. I know Xiaoyu far from the days of rehabilitation, she really knew me.
  out of the room door, I looked over at her, she has been looked at me, looked at me with misty tears in their eyes ... ...
  my car to the city, I think I really found happiness . Shook my fist, I was going to hold my happiness.
  but I never dreamed I went to the city received the first call is actually a so I can not accept not want to believe the bad news: Xiaoyu committed suicide!
  I returned home, sad and happy in that room I saw the ward Xiaoyu. She lay with closed eyes, then quietly went. Waited at the side of the crying of the Ku Er.
  doctor said she had to get better soon, and may Who knows ... ...
  I saw a note she left behind, very neat little words, I am sure she is in a very clear state to commit suicide.
  note said: I have made another man's wife, I can not face you. I am a killer, who better to me who will lose everything. Or I die, but the original can be peace in exchange for your life. Raise our children properly.
  who can not understand that I can not describe the grief at this time, I hold Xiaoyu cry, I cry tears of my life to do.
  small cousin sister and her husband according to the photo, there is such a one, a pair of field behind the happy couple, there is a pair of barely visible as men and women ... ... I took this photo from there to a sister to, at all times.
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