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Englishman a drink from a bottle of whisky. The Englishman was glad to have a drink.
"Go on," said the Scot,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], "have another drink."
The Englishman drank gratefully. "But don't you want one,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych],the cheapest newport cigarettes in the world004, too?" he asked the Scotsman.
"Perhaps," replied the Scotsman,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], "after the police have gone."
Submitted by: Ugur Yavuzturk
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4
A: Aren't you wearing your wedding ring on the wrong finger?
B: Yes I am, I married the wrong woman.
Submitted by: Anonymous
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5
A man was pulled over for driving too fast, even though he thought he was driving just fine.
1
What is the longest word in the English language?
SMILES: there is a mile between the first and last letters!"
Submitted by: Kevin Penner
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2
Teacher: Maria please point to America on the map.
Maria: This is it.
Teacher: Well done. Now class, who found America?
Class: Maria did.
Submitted by: Kmankoolman
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3
A Scotsman who was driving home one night, ran into a car driven by an Englishman. The Scotsman got out of the car to apologize and offered the
Officer: You were speeding.
Man: No,the cheapest newport cigarettes in the world005, I wasn't.
Officer: Yes, you were. I'm giving you a ticket.
Man: But I wasn't speeding.
Officer: Tell that to the judge! (The officer gives man the ticket.)
Man: Would I get another ticket if I called you a jerk?
Officer: Yes,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], you would.
Man: What if I just thought that you were?
Officer: I can't give you a ticket for what you think.
Man: Fine,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], I think you're a jerk!
Submitted by: Nick Henry, ESL teacher in Korea